The short answer is most definitely yes. But the long-winded justification is much more entertaining. 

I have finally managed to persuade a few poor unsuspecting men to meet with me in person. Whilst all of them were given a glimpse of my awkwardness by text so to some extent I was assured their standards were suitably low, however, I managed to surprise even myself with some of my antics:

Demanding he change his shirt

Picture this: a nice bar in Putney, me in a gorgeous designer skirt, when all of a sudden I get a text “I am on my way wearing an orange shirt”. 

Naturally this was horrifying, whilst Putney is a largely political neutral territory I don’t want my dates attire to stir up any troubles. I responded politely “Can you wear something less hideous? This is a nice bar” and he obliged and turned up in white. 

Needless to say, the date was over before it had started.

Talking enthusiastically about my future dates

I have a better defense here when you examine the evidence:

1. He committed the cardinal sin of insulting my one true love (my career, not my ex, to be clear), which I initially ignored. 
2. He had posted on his profile that he was “non-monogamous, no cohabitation”. 
3. He openly discussed his dynamic with his ex partner.

So I felt completely justified when I said “I am glad you are non-monogamous, it makes the ‘seeing other people’ thing so much less awkward”. He gave me a withering look and responded “I operate a don’t ask don’t tell policy”. 

Now in some circumstances I would respect this, but please see evidence 1: he insulted my job. And there is something about a man advertising he doesn’t want commitment but expects women to cosplay it for his ego whilst he looks down on their life choices that felt a bit much. 

So I did what I do best: I talked.

Of course I didn’t actually have many dates planned at this point, so I had to make most of them up. And I think the KO blow was “I am seeing a guy on Sunday who I am actually excited about.” 

Over-compensating rejections

Sometimes you can meet a perfectly nice normal man, who you just don’t fancy. In fact this can happen several times over and you find yourself searching for a compelling reason why you don’t want to see them again that is more polite than “It’s not me, it’s your face.”

The simple solution is to blame yourself, and thanks to my ex I have a long list of shortcomings to draw inspiration from. At one point, I think I told them I was responsible for the genocide in Gaza. 

Writing them a positive review to show other women

I have discovered that for some men, low esteem is actually a bit of a turn on. One particular keen man repeatedly was keen to reassure me that any of my issues were in fact good things in his eyes. 

At this point I was out of options, so I told him he was so lovely that instead of seeing him again, I would help him find someone else. Grabbed a piece of paper out of my wallet and wrote: 

“Great date, not a serial killer. And as a bonus won’t rape you! 5/5 stars”.

He did smile and put it in his wallet. 

Going to the wrong pub in the wrong part of South London

Frankly, how was I supposed to know that it would be so common for a pub called “The Railway” to be near a station? 

Yes, I see it now. 

Bringing cookies

On the face of it, this was a nice gesture if slightly twee. When chatting I mentioned I was making cookies and he was genuinely interested in how I was going to make them and what I liked to cook. So since I had some leftover from a batch I had made I thought he would appreciate me remembering. 

Turns out he was vegan and couldn’t eat them. 

Getting excited about breast milk

Whilst the cookie miscalculation was laughed off quickly, a friendly exchange about the challenges of dating as a vegan revealed I am too nerdy, even for a +40 year old man who skateboards. 

In a friendly exchange of weird things we’d been asked on apps, he mentioned someone asked if he as a vegan would drink breast milk ice cream. I immediately found this topic fascinating. After unpicking each sides of the argument in great detail and asking his final opinion he just stared at me blankly and said “I don’t think about it much”.

Apparently sometimes men just want you to laugh, even if they aren’t being funny.